Psychology: When love turns into manipulation

Psychology: When love turns into manipulation

the essentials in summary

  • Emotional manipulation occurs when someone pressures you based on feelings and emotions.

  • Whether in a friendship, relationship or family: emotional manipulation can occur in any type of relationship.

  • There are several signs that indicate emotional manipulation and tips you can use to protect yourself from emotional manipulators.

How we feel in a relationship has a huge impact on our self-confidence and well-being. If you feel unfairly treated, anxious, or even afraid of not meeting the other person’s needs, it could be emotional manipulation. You can find out what warning signs indicate this and how you can protect yourself here.

Maybe this has happened to you before: you met up with a friend, you met up, but then you felt bad and exhausted. Do you feel like she told you things that weren’t true? Or did you reveal information that you really wanted to keep to yourself? Then you should reflect on the encounter again: could your girlfriend be manipulating you? These warning signs and tips will help you recognize emotional manipulation and protect yourself.

6 typical signs of emotional manipulation

Whether in relationships, friendships, family or even work, emotional manipulation can occur in all interpersonal relationships. If you are insulted, lied to or even blackmailed by your interlocutor, you should question your relationship. Because, in the long term, emotional manipulation can weaken our self-esteem and make us question our own sanity.

Caution: Are you dealing with a toxic relationship? Is it time for a breakup? This will tell you if your relationship still has a chance.

Sign 1: Lying truths

Of course, we all don’t want people to lie, and it’s not always easy to recognize a lie. However, if you have the feeling that the other person is telling you things that never happened or denying events that actually happened, this could be a sign of emotional manipulation. Manipulative people are adept at lying. They often don’t even feel guilty about lying. You want to change the perception of others, convince them of something and put yourself in the right position.

Our tip: If you think they are lying, question the stories intelligently. If he or she needs an explanation, gets nervous, tries to justify themselves or withdraws, this indicates a lie.

In the clip: How to recognize liars based on body language

Sign 2: Feeling of anguish

At first glance, emotional manipulators seem very open, good-natured and sociable. They try to develop sympathy and compassion and build (supposed) confidence to reveal their weaknesses and secrets to others. However, if you notice that the other person is looking for certain information that you really don’t want to reveal, avoid it: otherwise, the manipulator could have you in their hands later.

Our tip: Be careful who you trust with what. Stand up for your needs and only say what you really want to reveal. Don’t let yourself be blackmailed and stay away from the person if you feel manipulated.

In interpersonal relationships we must make sure we are well. These tips will help you: How to recognize toxic friendships. and that’s how you know someone is jealous of you. Do you suffer from fear of loss? Watch out for these warning signs in on-again, off-again relationships. Does your love control you? This is how you can recognize jealousy and react to it correctly. Are you compatible? Every couple should ask themselves these questions.

Sign 3: Attribution of Blame

Do you feel like you never do anything right in a relationship or that you are to blame for all the problems and conflicts? So you should adopt the observer’s perspective and try to reflect on the situation neutrally. Manipulative people do not admit mistakes, deny blame and excessively dramatize the small mistakes of others. As a result, feelings of guilt and bad conscience arise among those affected. You want to make amends for what (supposedly) happened – and the manipulator benefits from this.

Our tip: Stay true to yourself and become aware of your emotional world. If the other person takes on the role of victim, ask them reflective questions like “What do you mean by blaming me?” or “is it fair to treat me like this for the small mistake?”

Signs of bad people

Sign 4: Disrespect

Respectful interaction must be demonstrated in a healthy relationship. “If-then” statements, insults, and disappointed comments reveal a lack of consideration for your own needs. Therefore, if you feel pressured by your interlocutor to meet their expectations, otherwise there will be consequences, then you appear to be exhibiting manipulative behavior.

Our tip: Try not to be threatened or pressured. Address disrespect objectively and, in the worst case scenario, break off contact. No one deserves to be mistreated by their loved ones for no reason.

Sign 5: Comparisons with others

Phrases like: “If my friend had done that, this wouldn’t have happened!” or “My friend could have handled this much better than you!” it can put you and your behavior in a bad light. Outsiders or even you doubt your sanity. The manipulative person expects you to change yourself and your behavior.

Our tip: Insist on not being compared because after all, you are an individual and do not deserve to be harmed by comparisons. Set limits and stand up for yourself.

Hurt by bad people? Now you can post these phrases and quotes on Instagram – after all, we can better overcome frustration with words of encouragement.

Sign 6: Excessive charm

If you often receive compliments from the other person before a wish or request is made, you may suspect a manipulative environment. Behind the revealed gesture there are selfish reasons to influence him and gain an advantage for himself.

Our tip: Favors and gestures from other people should not be conditional. Question your motives and don’t let yourself be blinded. If you feel like you are being manipulated, don’t be afraid to say “no”.

Maybe you’ve ignored certain warning signs when dating? Here you can find out what the warning signs mean and why we often don’t want to recognize them.

Emotional manipulation: how to protect yourself from it

Emotional manipulation can have serious consequences and wreak havoc on our nerves. If you feel like you are being emotionally mistreated in a relationship, you should set boundaries from the beginning. Here are some tips on how you can protect yourself from emotional manipulators:

  • Walk away as soon as you notice signs of emotional manipulation. After all, you deserve better!
  • Don’t trust your interlocutor too quickly and reveal only what you really want to reveal.
  • Assume an observer’s position and question the situation: does the emotion come from you or did it arise under the influence of someone else?
  • Set limits that no one can exceed and stay true to yourself.

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